Dear MS,

You should have killed me when you had the chance. You had time, before we noticed the lesions enhance. You could have fled, or slowed down, or otherwise been smart. Now I’m going to tear you apart. I’m not a warrior — I’m a worrier, but like Khrushchev…

wake up,
check phone,
let out moan,

stand up,
take a piss,
water runs hiss,

dress up,
clothes on,
eye WORK! c’mon,

fess up,
to myself,
about my health,

I’m up,
downstairs,
I comb my hair,

lift up,
arm weights,
my coffee hydrates,

speed up,
brain starts to work,
muscles start to fire; jerk,

drink up,
a glass of water with my drugs,
I give my wife and kids some hugs,

heat up,
some oatmeal for breakfast delicious,
ooh and a banana how delightfully capricious,

ahhh I feel so much better, what am I going to do…

I don’t have PML,
at least I don’t think,
but every little numbness,
and unexpected blink,
drives me to madness,
it’s own kind of hell.

I do have MS,
and I…

One of the big things about the internet is that it is a fantastic repository of ideas and (mostly anyway) to a large degree people on it are willing to…

I awoke with a headache — tired, worn out, but better. Slowly but surely better. Having your eyes messed up is a surrealist experience. Supremely surrealist. When your primary method…

Let me sing you a song,
let’s all sing along,
the ballad of American Healthcare,

a byzantine mess,
of unhelpful stress,
designed so you give up and despair,

it means…

On this fourth of July I got to run out of medication that I need (and can’t get refilled). On this fourth of July my uncle informed me of atrocities his mother experienced as a native woman going to mandatory schools where her language was beaten from her. On this…

I had booze last night — enough to get tipsy. For the first time in several months — almost a year. It was fun, and really nice. I’m so tired…

I’ve spent the last two days fighting with the insurance companies and the pharmacy — this is absurd and I hate it. I wish I lived in a civilized country…

Pat Pragman

The way things are going has kind of changed lately. Time for new - albeit wildly different - adventures.

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