What does it mean to be afraid?

I don’t have PML,
at least I don’t think,
but every little numbness,
and unexpected blink,
drives me to madness,
it’s own kind of hell.

I do have MS,
and I take lots of drugs,
and I feel tired a lot,
and crave lots of hugs,
what’s that itchy spot?
I must confess:

I am not sure if I’m crazy,
my vision’s so hazy,
I don’t mean to be lazy,
STOP TWITCHING! LEG STOP! FUCK OW! STOP!

What was I talking about?
oh yeah — I want to shout:
I can’t trust my body, that’s why I’m scared.